Saturday, March 26, 2011

sterotypical shit.

so this has relly been on my mind im sick of people saying oh your a poser because ur trying to beens scene and copy people whatthefuck what happend to doing what you want screw other peopel wat happend to personal style.  im sikc of people telling people the if you tease your hair your scene and now you have to were tight jeans and babnd tees and listen to breath carolina. i mena honestly teasing hair is a hair style and breath carloina is musicc and skinny jeans are clothes i mean let me explian this i AM nikkole. and im unique me jsut becasue some days i want to tease my hair and war and band tee and other days i want to curl my hair and wear a flower dress doesnt mean im posing and im a prep i mean i can get ten million pirceings 6 tattos and tease my hair and lsiten to taylor swift,. it shuldnt matter. or is i want to wear and mini skirt and a houilster top but lsiten to bring me the hrozion i shuld be aloud to and express my self with out ppl being all like poserrrrrrrr. andand scen kid or prep i am nikkole and yes i lvoe the "scene look" but some days i like the "prep" look and even the crazy colorful look theres diffrent styles music and personnailtys and just because ppl tell you if ur :scene: to go lsiten to scermo and be all werid. doesnt mena you ahve to. i no im guilty of useing stero types.  and calling ppl posers but i ahve realized theres no relly such thing as a pose ri mean there is. but i feel we alluse the word wrong.. models are poserrss they pose for pictures.  well i hope i got that acroos im not scene,prep,emo,nerd, or any of that sterotypical shit i am nikkole and i love scermo,country,rap,pop  i cant stan blues,jazz and clasical music.  i lvoe to tease my hair or curel it (weven thow my hair is natrualy curly) or were it in apony tail some time i feel like skirts and natral makeup sometimes i feel like band teessa nd eyeliner to  my nose. soemtiems i feel like sweat pants and no make but thats me where all  wat teenagers. we stillt rying to figure otu we we are so of cousre were gonan experment with difrrent styles music make up and people and we shuldnt be called psoers for trying to have fun and seeing wat you like . so from now on no one is no longer scene or prep or a psoer or not or a copyer to me we are all people and u r ur self and also jsut because ppl want to try teasign there hair doesnt mean there copying and stuff or try new styles so i wish everyone wuld stop  being all like stop copying this person and shit cuzcuz ppl were teasing there hair in the 80s we all copy or get ideas from other peopel or genrations its called stylee. so yeah :D

Sunday, March 13, 2011


well my spelling and shit is not the best. im trying to work on it but i feel soo unnoticed right now i mean im starting to friend alot of new ppl :D  and i feel good about it but it agervates me no one besides like CASSIE<33 reads this blog. so why am i writing because i want to believe that people read it.
but let me tell you why im even writing this because cassie i was stalking her blog and she gets like 100 blog fews i have  like 9. amd the bleh part. is I HATE MYSELF. all my friends are getting in to sitemodeling and they should their all so pretty but i feel like that fat girl jsut sittign there on the side i add the sitemodeling ppl because i want to suport my sitemodel friends but i relly hate my self im so fucking fat when ppl mention fat things or weight or start talking about big things i shutup because i dont want to be called fat. i feel soo low and unconfident around guys my bestfriends im honestly soo jelous of them there so pretty and everyone likes them but i ahte being around hot guys because i no they dont want to talk to me they want to talk to my gorguss skinny tight close wearing flirtaous friends and i should just shutuip and sit in the conrner so i kinda drive guys away buy being werid honestly i ahte that im soow eird my friends think im hilours. and stuff but ims oo weird . ii hate my laugh i sound like a fucking metal seal. i havd adhd and i relly want to get medicated so im not so hyper and anoying all the time. i want to pretty like the girls on tv like my best friends like the popular girls  i want to be stick skinny but not have to exercsize or eat healthy like all my stick skinny friends i want to look pretty with my hair ina poney tail and nop makeup like ym freinds do i want to wear skinyn jeans and all that shit. i want look in the mirror and not see ugly me staring back at me. it seems so easy forn everyone else why cant it be for me.  i wish i was soo pretty. i mean even so of my bigger friends are gorguss. but im still so fat and ugly. why am i like this. and how come their not. how come i never get what i want and they do. how come my nose is soo big . i ahte when my brother makes comemnts about me "joking around" like "nikoole get your fat legs off the couch or nicole you chunk get out the way" those hurt me soo badly i HATE MYSELF SOOMUCH. i want cant i be like everyone else. i hate going to school because im soo selfconuois and i no what you gys are thinking jsut stop eating so much excersize its your falt your so fat. or even worse your not fat nikkole your soo pretty and beautiful i mean seroiusly guys please stop lieing to me . it doesnt make me feel better it makes me feel like great even my friend have to lie to me..smd i relly do try hard to lose weight i relly do but temptaion is such a BITCHH. and when i ahve sleepover with those all so gorguss friends and i see them eating pizza and drinking pop  and scafing down french fries wat am i supost to do. jsut sit there.  wow i jaut spilled my heart out to this blog wathc wasnt a good idea becaus eiu want ppl to read this but i dont want ppl to make fun of me because of this. or it to start drama these are me feelings. and i honestly feel this way . GOD. grr. im done writing . k bye. 

Friday, March 11, 2011

well i havnt post a blog in ten million years.

well blogs seem so like from over the summer because i ahvnt posted one since like october.i have alot of stuff to say. alot of new things have benn happening. but why shuld i even write them downn no one even reads them but for those like 3 ppl  who do.
well i start by months.
ima start in december
december-that month was a good month i got lots of cool stuff like a 50 buck makeup kit for chrismas but my wintyer break SUCKEDDDD. because i did nothing. but that month i met a friend that id later hate.
januray-i had a kick ass new years eve party.what had started has shirley temples and crazy dance moves and spiraled into staying up til 5 in the morning piercings shit i pierced 3 cartliges and 5 ear holes that night. wait 6. that was the beging to a all new piercings obession. later that month i pierced a nose.6 more carliges and found a 3 new best friends. sabrina.heylee and jasmine. and then i started doing somthing id never regert. also the piercings turned into a group called the CC.
faburary-moms bday month. also that friend i met in december got super clsoe to the family she turned into wat seemed like my brothers dream girl they spend 24/7 together. i also got a cellphone in this month . and that thing id never regert. i stil do it in this month too. also jenni and cassie stopped being friends. wathc was awesome becaus enow me and cassie are like bestbest friends. also i pireced helens belly buttion and everyone wants piercings from me i pierced maya nose brooklyn helen me and maya are the CC. carlage crew. peopel always hate on us. but i relyl dont give a fuck there my best friends besides cassie. \
march-the month that we are in now i found out i have a new best friend and where getting really close. my brother bday is monday and that friend from december hurt my brother badly. THAT SKANK i mean i dotn relly mean shes a skank im jsut mad at her for hurting my brother. cellphones shut off. and sabrina is moving. i got closer to these "popular" girls at my school lilly and sarah and were gobnna have a sleepover soon and i fell relyl ahppy ive relized i relly am friends with everyone besides the jerk boys, that thing i doptn regert i do it every weekend AND I LOVE IT.. b ut latly ive been getting relly down on my self i look at my gorguss friend kasey and ghelen maya brooklyn cassie and i jsut see fat ugly nasty me in the mirror i wish i was beautiful as the rest opf those girls but im not. i guess i just have a good personality.
for the future i hope to get skinny and pretty and to get my hair done and my monore pirced. and to contuie piricng ppl because i lvoe it but ive relly got to start going to school ive missed 32 days of school this year. and the school is on my ass. well yeah