FML

today has sucked
sorry dad i know its your birthday
and all
but I HATE TODAY
i have no classes with any of my friends
skyline is big and scary
im scared i wont get what i need
for school shoppingg
when i just want to feel pretty enough
someone
give me a sign that everything will be okay
because right now
im scared,angry and sad
but i guess
everyone is living in hell
we got to work through
and put a smile on

WOW

you blocked me?
whatthefuck did i do?
because im friends with cassie?
because im going to skyline?
or what i havnt done nothing wrong to you
and that just really gets to me
im not talking shit
im not all pissy and trying to start shit so
 dont get your friends hating
 me or commenting on my blog
saying shit
i just thought we were friends
but i guess not.

everybody needs a shoulder to cry on.

so im at kaylahs party and i want to cry .
i dont feel pretty i never will
i want to talk to you.
you follow my blog now.
your my bestfriend
and nothing more
but i feel like our friendship is fastly fading
i never talk to you and i feel like you look
down on me
because i do stupied shit like "marshmellows"
but back to me
DAD I HATE YOU
im hiding my anger and my tears about you!
because i AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN AT KAYLAHS PARTY!
but i want to talk to someone and cry but again i want to talk to you
we went from not knowing eatchother to hating eatchother to best friends
to not talking ever.
god my life is a down spiral
FUCKK IT
whatever.

school. school. SCHOOL

i dont want to go to school to high school
i dont want school to start.
im so scared of school.

...

should i stay or go
im confused
i dont know
what i want
anymore.

diarys of the fat girl.

in less your over weight 

you don't know what its like

its a struggle from day to day

i used to be outgoing loving life person who thought she was beautiful no matter who told her no

now i wont talk to people because  i know no one wants to talk to me

i miss out on a lot of fun oppurtuntys because my weight holds me back

being fat is just not fun 

and trying to lose weight is hard 

i used to think id lose all my weight in a mater of three months nope

its gonna take forever because shedding it is hard

but being fat sucks i feel like i cant wear pretty close

i know no one will ask me to homecoming because im not beautiful and skinny

i wont even want to wear a dress because 

i no im just fat

so i prolly wont even go

being fat you have to over think everything

and people love to point it out and make fun of you

because you have all this extra skin and shit 

and its gross

being fat and over weight

is not fun

and it makes me cry alot

i don't like to go out and do things usly because being fat and being in public is hard

because ifeel like everyone is making fun of me

i know my feelings dont matter and im not relly a real person because im fat

i havnt relly even had a first kiss or let alone a guy i can consider my boyfriend

my first kiss was truth or dare. <------doesn't relly count

i hate myself and my life

i want to be someone else

if only i hadn't gained weight

my life would be better its all my fault 

for being fat.
no one needs to feel bad for me i did it to my self and now i have to live with it until i lose it.

yes i have lost 20-30 pounds this summer

but im still fat

dear high school,

im scared of you

im scared to be made fun of

im scared to step foot in your doors

im scared to lose my friends to better people

im scared to not get a boyfriend

im scared not to make friends

im scared to the lonely loser

when i used to have so much friends

im scared of everything about you.

 sincerely, the fat girl 

you are pretty but im not

all my friends
are so beautiful
i hate there PEP talks
because they don't mean anything even my friend who says shes the most ugly
gets hit on all the time
and guys like her
guys like every girl besides
me
im not pretty
i wish i was
i really doo
it hurts to no that im not
i hate when my friends "COMPLAIN" to me how these hot guys add them and they dont no who to talk to more
they tell me about how some hot "scene" guy is talking to them and hes like 17
why cant
i get hot guys
why do i have to be fat
why do i have to worry about being made fun of
some days im like why do i live.
and the only person that made me feel pretty
doesn't even talk to me
why
am i the ugly girl

moving!

yes it is true
im moving
in to more likely a
HOUSE
i have never in my life
lived in a house
and im so excited
but i don't want to move where
i cant go to skyline :P
im sorry
that im moving best friend i love you and i read your blog
and thinks for calling me unique but its not true but i appreciated it

it hurts

im losing friends

everyday

we arnt friends anymore 

it doesn't need to be said

i feel it

i know

i can no longer tell you

everything

i no i can no longer cry to you

i know that when school starts

we wont be hanging out

i know  that in my heart

you have changed 

and i can no longer say

you are my best friend.

and it hurts me

but i just wanted to let you  

im happy your happy

and i hope it stays like this for you forever

i hope

you never lose your new found happiness

because it would just kill

me to see you sad

have a good life

goodbye

sincerely,the lost friend

so im writing a song.

because i think i have talent

PISS ON ANYONE who thinks i don't. its not about you

its about me. im going to be somebody someday

and who ever is saying i cant.

well then i dont need you.

i need me and few select friends who believe in me

cassie behler

helen  brokaw

abbie warburton.

you said im a stranger to you!

ha

i went to your house once a week

for like 2 months

are parents are best friends and ima stranger to you

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!

screw you.

because i don't need people like you anyway.