Wednesday, August 31, 2011


today has sucked
sorry dad i know its your birthday
and all
i have no classes with any of my friends
skyline is big and scary
im scared i wont get what i need
for school shoppingg
when i just want to feel pretty enough
give me a sign that everything will be okay
because right now
im scared,angry and sad
but i guess
everyone is living in hell
we got to work through
and put a smile on

Monday, August 29, 2011


you blocked me?
whatthefuck did i do?
because im friends with cassie?
because im going to skyline?
or what i havnt done nothing wrong to you
and that just really gets to me
im not talking shit
im not all pissy and trying to start shit so
 dont get your friends hating
 me or commenting on my blog
saying shit
i just thought we were friends
but i guess not.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

everybody needs a shoulder to cry on.

so im at kaylahs party and i want to cry .
i dont feel pretty i never will
i want to talk to you.
you follow my blog now.
your my bestfriend
and nothing more
but i feel like our friendship is fastly fading
i never talk to you and i feel like you look
down on me
because i do stupied shit like "marshmellows"
but back to me
im hiding my anger and my tears about you!
but i want to talk to someone and cry but again i want to talk to you
we went from not knowing eatchother to hating eatchother to best friends
to not talking ever.
god my life is a down spiral

Monday, August 22, 2011

school. school. SCHOOL

i dont want to go to school to high school
i dont want school to start.
im so scared of school.

Sunday, August 21, 2011


should i stay or go
im confused
i dont know
what i want

Thursday, August 18, 2011

diarys of the fat girl.

in less your over weight 
you don't know what its like
its a struggle from day to day
i used to be outgoing loving life person who thought she was beautiful no matter who told her no
now i wont talk to people because  i know no one wants to talk to me
i miss out on a lot of fun oppurtuntys because my weight holds me back
being fat is just not fun 
and trying to lose weight is hard 
i used to think id lose all my weight in a mater of three months nope
its gonna take forever because shedding it is hard
but being fat sucks i feel like i cant wear pretty close
i know no one will ask me to homecoming because im not beautiful and skinny
i wont even want to wear a dress because 
i no im just fat
so i prolly wont even go
being fat you have to over think everything
and people love to point it out and make fun of you
because you have all this extra skin and shit 
and its gross
being fat and over weight
is not fun
and it makes me cry alot
i don't like to go out and do things usly because being fat and being in public is hard
because ifeel like everyone is making fun of me
i know my feelings dont matter and im not relly a real person because im fat
i havnt relly even had a first kiss or let alone a guy i can consider my boyfriend
my first kiss was truth or dare. <------doesn't relly count
i hate myself and my life
i want to be someone else
if only i hadn't gained weight
my life would be better its all my fault 
for being fat.
no one needs to feel bad for me i did it to my self and now i have to live with it until i lose it.
yes i have lost 20-30 pounds this summer
but im still fat
dear high school,
im scared of you
im scared to be made fun of
im scared to step foot in your doors
im scared to lose my friends to better people
im scared to not get a boyfriend
im scared not to make friends
im scared to the lonely loser
when i used to have so much friends
im scared of everything about you.
 sincerely, the fat girl 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

you are pretty but im not

all my friends
are so beautiful
i hate there PEP talks
because they don't mean anything even my friend who says shes the most ugly
gets hit on all the time
and guys like her
guys like every girl besides
im not pretty
i wish i was
i really doo
it hurts to no that im not
i hate when my friends "COMPLAIN" to me how these hot guys add them and they dont no who to talk to more
they tell me about how some hot "scene" guy is talking to them and hes like 17
why cant
i get hot guys
why do i have to be fat
why do i have to worry about being made fun of
some days im like why do i live.
and the only person that made me feel pretty
doesn't even talk to me
am i the ugly girl


yes it is true
im moving
in to more likely a
i have never in my life
lived in a house
and im so excited
but i don't want to move where
i cant go to skyline :P
im sorry
that im moving best friend i love you and i read your blog
and thinks for calling me unique but its not true but i appreciated it

it hurts

im losing friends
we arnt friends anymore 
it doesn't need to be said
i feel it
i know
i can no longer tell you
i no i can no longer cry to you
i know that when school starts
we wont be hanging out
i know  that in my heart
you have changed 
and i can no longer say
you are my best friend.
and it hurts me
but i just wanted to let you  
im happy your happy
and i hope it stays like this for you forever
i hope
you never lose your new found happiness
because it would just kill
me to see you sad
have a good life
sincerely,the lost friend
so im writing a song.
because i think i have talent
PISS ON ANYONE who thinks i don't. its not about you
its about me. im going to be somebody someday
and who ever is saying i cant.
well then i dont need you.
i need me and few select friends who believe in me
cassie behler
helen  brokaw
abbie warburton.

you said im a stranger to you!
i went to your house once a week
for like 2 months
are parents are best friends and ima stranger to you
screw you.
because i don't need people like you anyway.