updatee

so like i feel relly bad because my throat relly hurts. i mite have to get my tonsil thingys removed.

im tired

i wish you loved me.

i really like you

but you like my best friend and that sucks aghh. i wish i could be loved and cared about but im not. but thats what i get for being friends with pretty ppl prettyer than me anyway. all my friends are drop dead gorgus and then its just FAT. mee  and pretty them  your soo cute and nice but i cant beleive you asked permission to date my best friend and asked m if i cared of COURSE I DO CARE but im not gonna say i do so i said no idc:) but i ccare and to make it worst i think  she likes him back and she just doesnt want to tell me. if she does like him then date him  even thow ill be living in misery go ahead and date him.




---NIKKOLE

love ppl for who they are.

ok so im not bi,gay or lesbian but i feel  i need to right about that.
ppl seem to hate ppl for who they love its not fair,
it doesnt matter if your gay. like you could be making fun of a gay guy  and crap and turns out this kid has a lot in common with youa dn you guys culd be friends and hes relly cool but you wont no be cuz you never tryed to get to know him becuz he is gay.
whats wrong with a guy likeing a guy and a girl liking a girl 
and a lot of ppl think its wrong because its not what god wants in my opinion god wants us to live life and be happy and respect him i dout god is gonan be all like since you slept with a girl and your a girl your going straight to hell you can love who you want.
i have lesbian,bi and gay friends and ive been friends with them be4 they told me they were bi,lesbian,gay and i am still there friend. becuz they have always been lesbian.bi or gay there whole life and likee gahhh why not be there friend now there still the same ppl 
god. srry homophobic ppl  make me all mad becuz i just dont get it. theres nothing wrong with it  i mean what if all the gaa,lesbian and bi  ppl made fun of us for being straight.??
hmm it wouldnt feel so good it doenst matter wat gender your attracted to has long has your happy
ok i think im done here with this post becuz i think i got my point across

 DONT JUDGE PPL FOR WHAT GENDER THEY LIKE BECUZ FOR ALL YOU KNOW THEY COULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. no need to be rude and homophobic because in the end you just seem like a jackass

love nikkole :D
 

first day!!!!! of school :P

so heres my school day
wake up: took a shower put on clothes did make up then did my hair.
went to the bus.
bus:HAAHAH i thought  i missed it becuz the bus wasnt there and no ppl where at the bus stop at :7:09 when the bus came at 7:12 turns out i got on the right bus all those ppl got on the wrong bus.
first hour:mr. lincourt he was cool we can pick are own seats.
second hour:HATED IT. i want stab mr.mohr he is to stricked and mean imma swich out of his class.
3 hour:mr.english is pretty cool i sit next to cassie !!!!
4hour:GRADY. small class kinda cool. have some of my peeps in it like randee,courtney,jenna and sariina.
advisory:was ighht
luch:met this new girl sarah shes soo cool i woudl think she wuld be with the mega populars but she wasnt she was with us shes so cool.
6 hour: ALL BOYS besides me blah.
7hour:mr.condera is like AUHMAZZING HES SOOOOO COOOL
love&&&&waffles
NIKKOLE,nicole,nikki,


 

WOOT WOOT BACK TO SCHOOL BAYBAY!

so im excited for back to school shoping and i guess going back to school.
well for back to school  shoping im going to hottopic and getting a paramore&alltimelow shirts. excited XD im going to target,kmart.officemax and hottopic!
yes also school will be great this year i decied. not to care that much wat ppl say and think and to always be there for my friends. XD and to get auhmazzing grades.
and to be a good student and a great friend and to HAVE FUN THIS YEAR screw drama.
im in 8th grade lets live it up BAYBAY. and this is kinda random but whats up with all the fake scene girl acounts me and jenni are chating about that on facebook!. 
well im in a fantastic mood. :D 
but im super nervous for school. :P but any way 2010-2011 school year is gonna be my year.  heck yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
i  think im done here.

throw my hands up in the air some times saying ayo gotta let it go-----
nikkole
ps.idk if i got the lyrics right lmao.
XD

dreading everything.

ok so im like super super super nervous about a lot right now. 
school is starting soon&orintaion is on moday joy :\ im scared to see ppl and to see what classes i get.
and to take a school picture. :(
school terrfies me.
and im trying to better my life but it just isnt working. the more i try the more im diging then hole to my grave.
and im finally going to to go to therapy. will im not sure but my mom is trying to set me up and crap so idk when im forsure going. but i no im scared because i dont know whats going to happen. 
i need to fix some things in my life and i hope therapy will help me do that.
gos being a teenage girl sucks. i get why ppl say i dont miss beign a teenager becuz it infact is anoying.
 welll im about done here.
here are a few qoutes imaa gonna try to live by.
if your trying to please every one else your never going to be happy your self.
lerned to love ppl for who they are.
what doesnt kill you makes you stronger..

wellll
peace.

 ps.im really trying to be the better person but i keep screwing up dont give up on me.


love
nikkole

IT IS WRONG.

ok so im like kinda copying kasey&mearah but  i think i need to write about this because in like one my posts i said i would and i havnt.
so here it goes.


RAPE: i i never really spoken out about me feeling toward this subject and now i think its time to say what i think. 
okay well ITS TERRIBLE. so wrong. and if you think its right then obvoiusly you need HELP.
sex is supost to be fun. and somthing you do when you love eatchother. rape is taking fun and love from someone. making some one feel worthless and dirty. they cant erase the horrible memoires you gave them. just because YOU wanted power. most likey you have fantasy's about doing that to someone and now you want to act it out. saying sorry wont fix the promblem you have greated. most likey rapist/molesters. like  young children because they dont know its wrong what your doing to them. you tell them not to tell and that your there friend most likey there not going to watch makes you get away with it..  intil the child is older and relizes it wast right. then telling sometimes can be to late. 
watch can cause ppl to SELF MEDICATE. watch can result in to cutting,drinking,random sex,pills,drug habbits.
and SUCIDE there are more but those are commen.
im going to talk alittle bit about those self medcating options ppl take.


CUTTING: to get angerout and confusement to relive pain for your mind is to have physical pain. mosst ppl think cutters are pintless losers that do it for attion. watch in some case's that is true. but honestly you dont know about inless you have witnessed or done it. its to get out the anger and to free your mind in a werid way. most likely cutters dont want to die they want to relif the pain in there mind.


DRINKING: when your in the high of drinking your having fun. not really thinking about promblems going on in your life.


RANDOM SEX: having sex all the time just because you feel like you have nothing to lose anymore watch can cause a sex addict.


PILLS/DRUG HABBITS.:to forget is to be always high and lost in pills and deep in your mind in sleep. your like a living zombie walking the earth.


SUCIDE: take ones own life. ppl do this to escape the pain they are feeling and if suceced there  is no turning BACK. its a ssad awful thing.

now think all of this can happen to some one (+ more) jsut because they have been raped 
so next time you look at a cutter drugy sex addict. dont judge them get to know them because somthing like rape can be holding them back from actully living life and being happy


once again it is a awful thing. yes you can make jokes about we all do thats how some rape victums get by it is joking around. but be careful because any one can be holding a secert in.


so this was a really deep subject and along post.


love.
nikkole <3

i do care what ppl think.

i cant help it i wish i could but i jsut care what ppl think. agh im tirrifed that if i do what i want and say what i think sye my hair the color i want ppl will call me out for stuf that its true like oh your copying or your stupied or wow thats ugly. i HATE  BEING CALLED A COPYER.because im not one.
i like to do things my way and maybe if you do it the same way oh well but yeah. i think im done with this

btw im going to try to not care has kuch about what everyone else thinks.

love
nikkole