i haven't blogged in forever.
i just don't feel like it </3

trying my best but not doing good enough

I FUCKING HATE SCHOOL,WAKING UP EARLY,PEOPLE EVERYTHING
i just give up.

Hanging till we old and grey like grandpa.muthafucking HOMIES

so  this blog isn't about me.

its about best friends or HOMIES

so like i  realized i have  like the best friend anyone could have

brooklyn jean kouba.

SO today and yesterday was so much fun.

besides a little bit of drama.

me and brooklyn have been laughing our asses off.

watch makes me really excited for the weekend.

i usually think i m the fat girl i cant have like normal friendships 

but brooklyn makes me feel like it doesn't matter about what i look like or have in life we are still bestfriends!

we had a giant sing along today lol we are so cool

yeah but this is all i wanted to say is that im  happy that i  have brooklyn has a friend or homie

better yet shes like fucking family :)

im glad i can be my self and that she still loves me  i need people like that,

not saying that i dont have other friends like that.

because i do.

but i just have fun times with brooky !

lol :)

im rolling sweets,smoking sours

FML
im super sick
so that means no school
and a ton of catch up work :(
im losing every thing
im so upset.
im ugly has fuck.
never been kissed, never been liked,
never been called pretty
just made fun of.
im to fat
im to ugly
im nothing special
not even close to perfect.
i wish i could see my friends
i wish i was happy
i always thought
when i was 8,9
i get to high school id be pretty
id be popular
all my other friends would be jealous
nope im the ugly duckling has my best friends
get prettier
and more people like them
its a big deal to me
fml
im not worth anyone's trouble
im dirt
dirt is actually
better then me
it can grow weed and pretty flowers
i hate myself more and more
no one cares thow
so im done here.
im done with everything
im on the edge and im so close to jumping.

im soo sorry.

i need to learn how to SHUTTHEFUCKUP!
i mean i am really sorrry i really didnt mean to blurt it out but i didnt know it was a secert.
and i didnt know she was standing right there and would tell her.
i didnt know it was wrong
i was just talking about the subject in genreal with your best friend
i didnt mean to hurt you or anyone else
IM SO SORRY
please forgive me,
i miss you so much as it is.
i dont want to lose you.

Letting go,

when i was 8 i never thought  we wouldnt be friends.  i told everyone me and (not saying name )--- are gonna go to collage together be best friends in highschool.

dude we have let go of our friendship. 

but now that i think about it i missyou sorta sometimes.

but on a other hand i dont see us being able to be friends again we have diffrent personailtys. and when we were friends? we always had drama

but i want to make peace with you

(even thow you dont read this)

i hope we can casually be friends again and i do wish you the best 

and im sorry we couldn't be friends and maybe blocking me on facebook is a nice suddle hint of our ending friendship  because if you would of inboxed me i prolly would of blew up.

and tryed to save somthing that was to far gone to save. but u can like unblock me now?

lol nah its whatever. 

have a great life :)

im also letting go of the fact of being kinda ushmae dthat my two best friends are 13.

ohwell there like 9 months younger then me big woop.

it just sucks i dont have school with them love yah brooklyn and helen (maya!kaylah!).

letting go 

of him?

i guess has happend i miss him and the funnest fucking memoires ever!

but i havnt seen him in a week, bleh not having classes with your  best friends? SUCK.

and now you

letting go of you.

i see it happening if it isnt already. we have no classes together and you never relly on the bus.

theres better friends out there for you than can make you happy.im not really good at that

i hope we can stay friends.

because trying to accept the fact that us has bestfriend isnt gonna last forever kills

me but i guess,

letting go of you might be the best thing for you.

no ever said change was easy.

but no one ever said it was hard.

ill give you my heart on a string